Nancy Mary Gillenberg

Nancy Mary Martha (Meis) Gillenberg, departed this life peacefully at her home in La Mesa at the age of 93, with Richard, her husband of 72 years, at her side.

She was born on September 12, 1931, in Le Mars, Iowa.  Nancy’s family moved from the midwest to Tucson in the forties for her father’s health. She attended high school there and met handsome Dick Gillenberg while visiting El Centro with a close friend. Legend has it that they met on a tennis court. 

By all accounts, theirs was a passionate relationship. Nancy was 21 when they married and 22 when she had the first of their six children.  After a year in San Diego, they moved to Tucson where they had the support of her large family.

Nancy embraced her role as a wife and mother with true devotion, bringing her energy and positivity into her daily family life. As a young mother, she injected her children’s mundane world with a sense of magic; inspiring their young imaginations with classic fairy tales and bedtime stories that often had a life lesson to teach. Because she was fun, she made Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and tiny Irish elves (that would report bad behavior) a part of her children’s world. 

Appreciated for her ability to make every holiday a memorable event, no one was neglected under her care. Every Christmas, Easter, and birthday was infused with her loving spirit and creative energy, creating memories that echo in the hearts of her loved ones throughout their lives.

Reading and education was important and the young parents sacrificed to purchase encyclopedias and children's’ literature. She sang lullabies learned from her Irish mother, Nora, who was a talented musician and who loved to sing and whistle.  Nancy often sang throughout her busy days, which was so in character with her sunny, uncomplaining nature.

A determined woman, Nancy obtained her Bachelor of Arts from the University of Arizona in 1961 while somehow managing the intricate balance of life as a homemaker to six very active children and a husband who worked long hours to support his family. 

She was a practicing Catholic for most of her life and made sure her children completed their religious instruction through confirmation. Polishing the children's shoes the night before Mass was a weekly ritual.

Her character was a tapestry of many threads—competent, energetic, unselfish, loyal, affectionate, and articulate. With wit that could disarm and sometimes sting, and intelligence that illuminated, she was indeed, often the smartest person in the room. Always armed with a logical perspective and an upbeat demeanor, she enjoyed expressing incisive, sometimes acerbic observations that only added to her reputation as a formidable character.

Her lifelong commitment to her marriage with Richard is a testament  to love, loyalty, optimism, and good humor in the face of the typical disappointments we all endure. Like many mothers, she also experienced some heartrending tragedies that she refused to let break her spirit.

A strong woman, she applied her values to all circumstances. She was always there to help reconcile any situation in a positive way, always loving and caring. She was the queen of good common sense, and a savvy manager of her family finances; thrifty and smart. She was a fierce protector of her family.

Nancy found joy in the simple pleasures of reading and engaging in fiercely competitive games of pinochle and bridge. She liked to win. She was a good sport and often camped and fished in Baja with Dick and the family. She had a particular love of babies, whom she cherished deeply, and enjoyed bouncing on her knee, to their delight.

A steadfast presence in the lives she touched, she dedicated herself to both her family and her vocation—retiring after twenty-eight years with the San Diego Department of Social Services, where she served as both social worker and program manager. The flyer announcing her retirement party designated her “The Dimpled Darling of DSS.”

Nancy leaves behind her beloved husband of seventy-two years, Richard, her sister, Judy Schutt, as well as her children: Mary Ann, Paul (Stephanie), Matthew, Bonnie (Alfonso), and Nora, who will carry forward the legacy of love she instilled in their lives. 

She was preceded in death by her son Eric, and grandchildren Shannon, Aidan and Adam. She will be missed by her cherished grandchildren: Isabel, Natalie, Alex, Olivia, Claire and Kurt, who will remember her laughter, her liveliness and sense of fun.

Her family is grateful to her caregivers, Karen and Rosa, who made her last years safe and comfortable. 

As we say goodbye to a remarkable woman who graced this world with her vibrant spirit, we find solace in the many memories she gifted us—a reminder of the beauty found in love, family, and friendship.